What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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