whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
