is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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