Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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