I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
