I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
