just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Can I color on your dick again?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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