either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
