jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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