you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
