dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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