I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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