I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
