I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
