I'm drive I can fine osifer
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize