Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
