Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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