I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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