She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
