Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
