I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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