playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
