there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
