i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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