I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
please come you make the beer taste better
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
