Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
