dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
