i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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