Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
