its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
