I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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