Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
