then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
