At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
