first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
