So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
