I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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