what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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