well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
