I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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