I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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