I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
