And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
