i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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