So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
