I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
