he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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