So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
