What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
