I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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