drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
