Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
