it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
