I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
